Julia loved flowers.
We had an entire garden at home. Daisies, Daliahs, Lupines, Chrysanthemums, Azaleas. All types of 'em. We would spend hours out there planting, weeding. Sometimes I'd find her out there just...admiring them. Besides the shop, it was her pride and joy. We always talked about using them in the clothes, or even selling them, opening a flower shop instead of a clothing store. We dreamed of it constantly. But we never did. They just grew and grew - our garden getting bigger and bigger. Then...she got ill. As hard as I tried, there was nothing I could do. But I took care of that garden when she couldn't. I tried my damndest. I knew how much it meant to her. In those last months, I still saw how much joy it brought her. And after Julia was gone, it was the last piece of her that I had left. But...instead of tending to it and keeping it alive, I left all of it behind and left Walker Creek. I abandoned those flowers. Those last pieces of her. When she passed, I knew I couldn't stay. Everything reminded me of her. Even that garden. Even...those flowers. I'll always regret it, hate myself for it. I miss those flowers. I still don't know what happened to the garden. If some new caretakers took over and gave it the care it deserved, or if it faded away along with Julia. Either one is fitting. But...things have changed since the day I left the town. Thinking about the past is...easier. I want to be reminded of it. I created an entire blog to remember it. To come to terms with it. And...I would say I have. Some of you might have been wondering where I've been for the past several months. Why I've been so scarce. The reason is...remembering the town, remembering her, remembering those flowers, all these years later...they gave me new life, kinda. I've been growing my own garden. Tending to it, nurturing it, keeping it alive. I have my own flowers now. And it's not the same. There's no getting back the garden we built together. But...it's something. A piece of her. Every time I'm there it feels like I'm with her, in a way. And for a while there, I wanted to fulfill our dreams. I was going to open that flower shop we had fantasized about for so damn long. I was working hard at it, figuring out how it all works and getting some pieces up and running. I had a purpose, a way to forgive myself a little, and I knew that's what she would have wanted me to do. She would have been proud. It took most of my time and it's why I haven't been very active. Seems like that's on hold now though. This investigation thing has always been in the back of my mind, haunting my memories and corrupting the nostalgia I had. I fought to keep those memories of Julia from being intertwined with this Hosted bullshit. Now though...I know I gotta do something about Matt and Daniel. I'm just an old man. They're more important. My flowers can wait. Ilman is still tight lipped, so I'm figuring out what to do. My plan (not guaranteed but likely) is that I'm gonna go back to Walker Creek the first day of November. I know that might be too late but I have to try. And if something happens, and I don't have to go...well, now you know what I've been up to. - Trevor
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I've seen a lot of chatter wondering what we're supposed to do. I can't say I have the answers, but I'll be damned if I'm not gonna keep throwing shit at the wall and seeing if it sticks. I've been talking with SANDERS and he says he has things he can't tell me. Ilman said to be patient. She said they're waiting for the right time for...something. They're paranoid as all hell right now, but I'm sure there's more to know. We have contacts. Andrea said somethin' about joining the server, maybe pester her to get her to do that. We could try to get into contact with Deercot. Anyone know how?
On another note, I'm thinking that I should try to go to Walker Creek. I can't fight or anything like that especially with my leg, but I could offer support somehow. I don't know. I'm desperate, folks. I liked the kid a lot. Daniel and I were friends and...I can't see him go out like this. I already lost too many people. It's scary and I'd have to give up on everything in my life again but...might be worth it. If something doesn't change really soon, I'm gonna have to do it. - Trevor Alright, I don't know if y'all have been doing much of anything. But I've been working and trying to figure this shit out. Got into contact with SANDERS and Ilman. Looks like I'm technically a member of the rebellion now since I did their verification and we're working together. I can cross that one off the bucket list now. I already talked to 'em about going back to Walker Creek myself to help with this. We're gonna keep thinkin' on that for now. Not going anywhere yet.
First up, good news - Ilman thinks Daniel and Matt are still alive. Said that Louise...No, The Tour Guide...wanted Daniel for some other reason, not just execution or Hosting. And she said Matt's replacement was 'anticipated', whatever that means. Said he could be dead, but was probably being held in the Home like Daniel. Those kids are still out there. I was right. That's why I'm still trying. Andrea told me to keep hope and work with SANDERS. Which brings me to my next point. The rebellion is scattered as all hell right now. SANDERS says they're not using the forum much anymore and are trying to figure out what to do but still need help rallying the troops. But, Ilman told me to stay tight lipped on the rest. This is the final push y'all. I'd reckon we have a few days at most. If we can't pull this off right, then...that's it. If you wanna leave everything up to fate in the hands of the rebellion alone that's fine., but I know I ain't gonna do that. I wanna have an influence. Your choice, folks. - Trevor I know y'all have given up, but I haven't. I know I haven't been the most active one of the group but I've been around longer than a lot of you. I know if you saw Daniel's video today...it looks bad. Adam dead, Matt and Daniel in the Home (in an ambiguous state - not dead or Hosted for sure. Don't count 'em out yet). And Louise...oh my God, Louise. What did they do to her? I feel...angry. Confused. Upset. But...not satisfied. They say 'the end', and maybe you believe it, but does that feel satisfying to you? Are you ready to call it the end?
That's why I'm not giving up. We have time. We have connections. Right?! So let's use 'em. First I think we need to figure out who's left standing, and what the placement/status of everyone left on the board is. Then, we formulate a plan with Ilman, who is still out there as far as we know. And then...I don't know. I'm not the one to come to for this shit. I tell old stories and reminisce on the past. But goddamn, I will go to Walker Creek if I have to. We gotta do something. The kid didn't deserve what happened to him. None of them did. Even Adam. Just...they got dealt a bad hand. So...if you care at all about this investigation, whether we solved the mystery of Daniel's dad or not, whether Daniel/Matt/Adam are gone or not, we gotta try. I think. Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I am...scared. I don't wanna do it on my own. - Trevor Look, I've been part of the investigation for a pretty long time. Since December, longer than most of y'all. I might not be a rebel or a police officer or a worm-turned-human but I still have some things to say.
Daniel is going to Walker Creek today. Not sure what to call this exactly. A return? A roadtrip? A visit? To be frank, I think this is a terrible goddamn idea. I've talked to Daniel time and time again over the last few weeks and tried to talk him out of it but he won't budge. I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago but he's packing now. He's going right into the lion's den now and we can't do anything to stop him. I worry about that kid. I kept telling him that he was flyin' too close to the sun, that he was getting too wrapped up in this. But he just...got sucked in from the moment those VHS tapes showed up on his doorstep. I was able to step away. I guess I don't have enough of a personal connection. I've been trying to live my life, even though I do keep coming back to this. It's hard to stay away. But I've been trying. Maybe I'll tell you about it someday. Anyway, point being, this shit has gone way off the deep end. I'm watching every step of the way. I just really hope he's not stupid enough to actually go meet with the Tour Guide. Because seriously kid, you know how that ends. But this isn't in my hands anymore. It never has been really. I've always stayed on the sidelines, throwing in advice and information where I can. It's in all of your hands now. It's in Daniel's hands. It's in Matt's hands. It's in...Adam's hands, despite how shady he is. Just be safe. Be ready. I have a feeling that shit is about to hit the fan even more. - Trevor |
AuthorTrevor Magnil Archives
November 2021
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