Julia loved flowers.
We had an entire garden at home. Daisies, Daliahs, Lupines, Chrysanthemums, Azaleas. All types of 'em. We would spend hours out there planting, weeding. Sometimes I'd find her out there just...admiring them. Besides the shop, it was her pride and joy. We always talked about using them in the clothes, or even selling them, opening a flower shop instead of a clothing store. We dreamed of it constantly. But we never did. They just grew and grew - our garden getting bigger and bigger. Then...she got ill. As hard as I tried, there was nothing I could do. But I took care of that garden when she couldn't. I tried my damndest. I knew how much it meant to her. In those last months, I still saw how much joy it brought her. And after Julia was gone, it was the last piece of her that I had left. But...instead of tending to it and keeping it alive, I left all of it behind and left Walker Creek. I abandoned those flowers. Those last pieces of her. When she passed, I knew I couldn't stay. Everything reminded me of her. Even that garden. Even...those flowers. I'll always regret it, hate myself for it. I miss those flowers. I still don't know what happened to the garden. If some new caretakers took over and gave it the care it deserved, or if it faded away along with Julia. Either one is fitting. But...things have changed since the day I left the town. Thinking about the past is...easier. I want to be reminded of it. I created an entire blog to remember it. To come to terms with it. And...I would say I have. Some of you might have been wondering where I've been for the past several months. Why I've been so scarce. The reason is...remembering the town, remembering her, remembering those flowers, all these years later...they gave me new life, kinda. I've been growing my own garden. Tending to it, nurturing it, keeping it alive. I have my own flowers now. And it's not the same. There's no getting back the garden we built together. But...it's something. A piece of her. Every time I'm there it feels like I'm with her, in a way. And for a while there, I wanted to fulfill our dreams. I was going to open that flower shop we had fantasized about for so damn long. I was working hard at it, figuring out how it all works and getting some pieces up and running. I had a purpose, a way to forgive myself a little, and I knew that's what she would have wanted me to do. She would have been proud. It took most of my time and it's why I haven't been very active. Seems like that's on hold now though. This investigation thing has always been in the back of my mind, haunting my memories and corrupting the nostalgia I had. I fought to keep those memories of Julia from being intertwined with this Hosted bullshit. Now though...I know I gotta do something about Matt and Daniel. I'm just an old man. They're more important. My flowers can wait. Ilman is still tight lipped, so I'm figuring out what to do. My plan (not guaranteed but likely) is that I'm gonna go back to Walker Creek the first day of November. I know that might be too late but I have to try. And if something happens, and I don't have to go...well, now you know what I've been up to. - Trevor
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AuthorTrevor Magnil Archives
November 2021
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